Convergence 2010 Albuquerque: Day one - July 20

I was up at 6:00 a.m. and went for breakfast in the hotel. As I arrived in the dining room and was about to be seated, another conference participant, Bobbie (Roberta) Goering, asked me to join her table for breakfast. She had already asked 2 other women who were attending the conference on their own, Cynthia Miller and Jean Weems. We talked animatedly, our eagerness to be there apparent and vital. We quickly became ‘a group’ hanging out together at various times over the week that the conference took place.

left to right: Jean Weems, Cynthia Miller, Ann Bergeron and Bobbie Goering

At 7:30 a.m. we all checked into the conference and the tour we had signed up to take that morning. While I was there, I overheard a woman introduce herself as Nancy Harvey to the check-in personnel for the conference. It was the Nancy Harvey who wrote the tapestry book. I asked her if she’d take her picture with me for us folks here in Canada! She willingly obliged.

The Santa Fe Opera House was utterly divine. It was lodged in an outdoor space, with a panoramic view. Though it had a remarkable arched wood ceiling the sides were open to the elements. On one side of the stage area are wind and rain baffles. We were given a tour of the costume shop, where not only are the costumes themselves often made, but at times, also the shoes, wigs and hats. There are 65 people employed in this section during the summer months. Out of 900 applicants for technical apprenticeships, 78 are selected. The costumes have a great amount of technical detail. There is an ample storage area, where costumes are stored not only from the current operas, but from past operas. The frequently rent out costumes for productions of other operas around the country. Costumes are created with large seam allowances and no lining to allow them to be taken in or enlarged depending on the performer. We were shown the understage area and props. We were served a delicious lunch where we invited Ann Bergeron to join a new friends group and then it was off to visit 3 studios of local area fiber artists.

The first studio we stopped was Rebecca Bluestone. This gave us an introduction to the kind of architecture that is dominant in New Mexico, the adobe style house. They are very charming, cool in the summer, and warm in the cooler months. She does warped faced hand dyed silk wallhangings on a Cranbook Loom with a sectional warp beam and an epi of 8 using a 12/6 swedish cotton for the warp. She likes to weave with a temple because silk is rigid and does not have the give and amplitude of wool, thus its rigidity causes draw-in. Her wallhangings are quite large and to maintain such a straight edge is definitely technically challenging.

James Koehler’s studio was next, shown above. James creates handwoven tapestries with his hand dyed wool yarn. He mounts his tapestries with Velcro on frames so that they appear more like canvases than wallhangings. He has a number of apprentices and in exchange for work done for him, he trades them hours of instruction. He also uses a Cranbrook loom and works in the ‘bas lisse’ manner. He did say that he was looking into getting a gobelin style loom for he was beginning to find that always working on the Cranbrook loom was more challenging physically. A gobelin style would give him the option of also working upright and perhaps more comfortably. One thing that James did differently in setting up tapestries on looms is, instead of using lease sticks at the back to maintain threads in a more orderly way, he opted for using another reed at the back of the loom between the heddles and back beam. James also sells hand dyed yarns for tapestry. He has a new book available about his work and life available through mail order.

Jennifer Moore’s studio was our last stop for the day. The picture are at the top of the page. She creates double weave wall hangings, scarves and shawls. Jennifer’s book on double weave has just come out, and she also sells dvd’s on the technique. I acquired a copy of the book and asked her to sign it! Jennifer’s studio may be small, but she also is incredibly prolific.

I regrouped with my new friends after the tour. Bobbie was fading because she had come directly to Albuquerque from a trip to France, so she didn’t join us for dinner. Jean, Cynthia and I took the bus to Old Town Albuquerque, where shops and restaurants were organized around a very European looking square. We had dinner at one of the restaurants (Mexican). We faded quickly after that.

Attendance at this conference made possible by the support of the Ontario Arts Council.

Rejections and defeats

This week I received notification from the Canada Council that I did not receive the grant that I had applied for . This is not the first time I have been rejected for a grant, and likely will not be the last. Though I have never received a grant from the Canada Council, I have received several from the Ontario Arts Council for various undertakings. The most recent grant from the Ontario Arts Council is enabling me to participate in the Convergence weaving conference taking place this year in Albuquerque New Mexico. But, back to my hopes in the Canada Council grant. Rejection. It's not easy to take. What does it mean exactly when an organization such as these granting agencies reject one's application. It's hard not take it personally. On the other hand, what message is it that I should be extracting from it? Does it mean my work is not worthwhile, not valued? Does it mean that for them, tapestry weaving is not what they consider to be artistically significant enough? Is it that I am not significant enough in their estimation? And what is it that would, in their estimation, make my work, my undertakings and my self, worthy enough of receiving, above all, their support and encouragement. When was the last time I ask myself, that a tapestry weaver received support from the Canada Council? Are they saying my work is not good enough? Socrates says " The highest form of excellence is to question oneself." So many questions, and unfortunately, no answers. Furthermore, there is absolutely no feedback to guide one as an artist as to how to work towards meeting the criteria while still trying to maintain artistic authenticity and integrity. In my rejection letter, I am told that if I would like to know who did receive Canada Council grants, that I would have to make a request in writing, in 3 months time, the list of who received the grants. OK. Better put that on my agenda so that I try to remember to do this in 3 months while I'm busy scrambling, like most artists and craftspeople to earn a living.

Rejection is something that one has to accept especially when one is an artist/craftsperson. It's never easy, but one certainly cannot let it prevent one from doing what you want to do, from achieving what you hope to achieve. Of course, receiving grants enables one to achieve one's goals sooner rather than later, especially if one is not independently wealthy or part of 'stable' of a handful of elite artists that these organizations consistently support.

Recently I picked up a book at the Salvation Army, hand bound, filled with poetry. Many of the poems were very inspiring but this one, though not a poem, resonated with me in regards to winning and losing, and this is what was printed in the book:

There was a businesman who whenever someone would bemoan their misfortunes in busines, love or life in general, would take them aside and invite the person to study a framed handlettered sign hanging on the wall. It read:

'31 - failed in busines

'32 - defeated for legislature

'33 - failed in business again

'34 - elected to legislature

' 35 - sweetheart died

'36 - suffered nervous breakdown

'38 - defeated for speaker

'40 - defeated for Elector

'43 - defeated for Congress

'46 - elected to Congress

'48 - defeated for Congress

'55 - defeated for Senate

'56 - defeated for Vice President

'58 - defeated for Senate

'60 - elected President of the United States

signed Abraham Lincoln.

Life is full of these defeats and rejections, which pave the way for the successes and accomplishments we hope to attain. One must keep dreaming, keep striving, keep hoping, and above all keep doing. One must not let life's defeats blind one to the small victories, the numberous joys, and the many blessings that have filled and will continue to fill our lives. One can only accomplish as much as the opportunities circumstances present to one. In the I Ching, the great book of Chinese wisdom, it is said that all of us must work within the limitations life presents. It's important to me that on my deathbed though, I will never have to say to myself that I didn't try as hard as I could to make my dreams come true, that I tried as hard as I could to accomplish my goals and objectives. I'll continue to knock at the Canada Council's door and maybe one day it will open.

Silence and Solitude

I've just finished reading a book entitled A Book of Silence: A journey in search of the pleasures and powers of silence by Sara Maitland. It's rekindled my esteem for a practice I've had almost all my life and is especially present in my practice of tapestry weaving. I have a great need to have large amounts of time dedicated to activities that do not require talking and tapestry weaving is one of those. This just may be my temperment and natural character. Or it may be a habit I acquired as a child because the adults present in my life did not engage me in conversation. Often, I was not allowed to talk. Other times no one seemed to be hearing me talk at all. I instead cultivated the practice of not talking. Sara Maitland says " ..... I learned that silence....is, in itself, a form of freedom; it generates freedom, free choices, inner clarity, strength. A freedom from one's self and a freedom to be oneself".

The garden has deepened my appreciation of solitude and silence. Everything happens there so quietly, imperceptible to human senses. Yet, it is such a vital place, teaming with life, so dynamic and so vibrant which indicates to me that silence and quiet is definetely not static or deadening. I transpose this rediscovered pleasure of working in silence. I 'transplant' it to my tapestry weaving, enjoying laying in the weft as though planting seeds in a garden. Seeds of awareness. Seeds of mindfulness. Seeds of creativity. Seeds that will grow with the right conditions, into vital, vibrant and dynamic works of art.

In silence, thoughts and ideas come to the fore that would not otherwise. In silence my focus becomes sharp, my thoughts and ideas more clear. In silence I accumulate the energy I will need for planned activities and actions, or periods of talking time. Sometimes while in periods of silence, I think nothing is happening. It feels static. Whatever is going on is not immediately accessible to my awareness.

I appreciate Sara Maitland sharing her research and thoughts about silence. Social pressures were beginning to make me feel that silence is some disease. Other people are often uncomfortable with silence. I have renewed my regard and respect for this practice. It has returned me to honour my inclinations and urge to self possession.

As I settle in comfortably into my studio, seating myself in front of my Leclerc tissart tapestry loom, a feeling of perfect contentment comes over me. I start to think about this contentment and what it is about. This is definitely not the first time this feeling has overcome me as I weave my tapestries. One image that comes to mind as I'm sitting here weaving and I glance around the studio is how I love that I am surrounded with so much yarn in what seems an infinite array of colours and textures. It creates this very special environment. One that I would liken to a nest. No other image describes what its like as well as that one and all that it implies. I also got to thinking about what still draws me here, to this place, creating tapestry. Many other people wonder the same thing as well and I have often been asked why I weave tapestries. The other evening I was at an opening reception for an exhibition put on at the Gibson Centre in Alliston where a couple of my tapestries were included. the two that were selected were Gravity and Joy. One person, who is herself a very gifted and talented weaver, said she was overwhelmed by the size of Gravity simply because she knows how many hours were spent weaving each 'pixel' manually and that it was not done with a computerized loom or a jacquard loom which is the trend these days. Time. How we value time, how we perceive the passing of time, how we want to spend our time, the quality of our time spent here in this life.....are all factors in the choices we make as to how we want to spend it. And when I'm weaving tapestry, time seems completely suspended, though I know it is not.

Another thought that came up was how for humans the sense of touch plays an important factor in contributing to our well being. It seems to me that women especially, due to what I believe are genetic factors, intuitively participate in activities that are tactile. I think these characteristics are inherent, that we have no control over them. I believe women are prewired to be nurturers which makes us more sensitive to the tactile, all needed to care for our infant offspring. What happens then when offspring are no longer or are not a part of one's observable reality then? Why are we so drawn to these activities like knitting, crocheting, felting, weaving even sewing and heaven knows for some, even housework? Why are textiles so vital a part of our frame of reference? I want to know more about the 'science of touch' so here is the beginnings of my forays into understanding why I have always felt that I had no control over feeling propelled to participate in such activities and that it is hard wired in our brains and in our bodies. Read this about touch and one of the points they make about the sensory receptors in our hands take up much more space in our brains than most other areas of our bodies. I think this will give us great insight into ourselves and help us to understand why we can never feel entirely complete in our lives unless we understand that our bodies need this tactile way of interacting with world and of being in the world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatosensory_system

Recently a friend of mine returned from Paris and while she was there she visited Cluny and saw the Unicorn Tapestries. Though there is much intersting discussion as to the possible meaning of these tapestries, after having done much reading about them and the period in which they were created, I believe, based on how women were recruited to live as nuns in Abbeys, that these tapestries are about what these women would sacrifice and commit to: a renunciation of terrestrial pleasures, the conduit being each of our five senses. Each tapestry is about the renunciation of each sense in order to live a life closer to God. Many would hotly debate nowadays whether doing any such thing would bring us the feeling of being closer to God, however, I am greatful that women have so many more choices now. And I still choose to weave tapestries after having done so for the last 25 years. The possibilities are still exciting me. So many that are in my mind that I hope one day will come to fruition.

Silent Music: a pre-performance for Tafelmusik

I was delighted when I received an email from Tafelmusik to be part of their Earth Day celebrations as a participating artist. It will be for their concert Forces of Nature: A Celebration for Earth Day which will take place on Sunday April 11 at 3:30 pm.

I have often thought of my loom like a musical instrument and have felt like a musician while I was weaving, making silent music. Perhaps its the physical rythmic movements of the process. Perhaps some aspects of the technical structures, such as the mathematical component to it. The other coincicidence is that baroque music is one of my favorite categories of classical music and I usually listen to it as I'm weaving tapestries. I find it fascinating that my tapestry weaving and Tafelmusik how somehow found each other!

An Ashford loom I am presently using to weave the tapestry Dream Fields will be on display for this event.

A smaller loom will be available for people to weave their prayers, dreams, hopes and wishes for the planet. A book will also be available for them to write their thoughts as well as their name and signature. This finished woven piece will be part of a future exhibition. Each person will be credited for having contributed to weaving the piece. The finished piece will be a part of my Prayer Totem series, which itself is a part of another group of tapestries on Well Being.

For more details on the concert go to http://www.tafelmusik.org/

American Tapestry Alliance Featured Artist

One of my weaving students, Kate, mentioned to me that I was one of the featured artists in the American Tapestry Alliance newsletter. To preview click on the link.

http://www.americantapestryalliance.org/AP/ArtistBio/DufourL.html

American Tapestry Bienniale 8

A few weeks ago I was notified that my tapestry "Joy" was accepted in the American Tapestry Alliance Bienniale 8. I was really surprised they accepted it because it was very different from the tapestry, Gravity, that had been previously accepted at the ATA7. The American Tapestry Alliance received 176 entries from 105 artists representing 15 countries. The juror was Rebecca A.T. Stevens and I am honoured to be included among the 65 tapestries included in the final exhibition. Currently they are planning two exhibits, and possibly a third. The first will be at the Elder Gallery (Nebraska Weslayan University) in Lincoln Nebraska between September 20 and November 15 2010. It will be in conjunction with meetings being held by the Textile Society of America.

The second will be at the American Textile History Museum in Lowell, Mass between January 21 and May 2011. You can view the site by clicking on the link.
http://www.athm.org/current_exhibitions.htm